- You believe in freedom of speech except for anyone that dares to disagrees with you
- You think the words "separation of church and state" are in the First
Amendment of the Bill of Rights
- You believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
- You believe that money is the answer to everything, and if you throw enough money at a problem you can
fix anything, even the truth.
- You believe that terrorists kill innocent people because they are misunderstood
- You believe that the same teacher who can't teach your kids how to
read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more
of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese &
North Korean communists.
- You believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
- You believe that it is alright for you to lie to further your point of view, but it is wrong
for other people to tell the truth to further an opposing point of view
- You believe that it is O.K. for illegal immigrants to live in the United States as
long as they live very, very far away from you.
- You believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical,
documented changes in the earth's climate, and are caused by soccer moms driving
- You believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual
- You are against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand
and instantly pulling the plug on anyone who falls into a coma.
- You believe that businesses create oppression, and governments
- You believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
- You believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing
something to earn it.
- You believe that the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
- You believe it was O.K. for Bill Clinton to send U.S. troops into a new war without
Congress' approval every nine
weeks, but it is wrong for a Republican President to send troops anywhere, even with
- You believe it is O.K. for a Democrat to lie, cheat, and steal, because their heart is
in the right place, but any Republican should be thrown into federal prison for incorrect
- You believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the
- You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- You believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and
- You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas
and set-asides are not.
- You believe that every plan Republicans make is a bad idea, but you
cannot form any plan of your own whatsoever.
- You believe that giving the government complete control over everything you do is a good idea.
- You believe that the entire Patriot Act is wrong even though you've never taken five
minutes to read it on the Internet
- You believe that manipulating other people through guilt is O.K.
- You believe that allowing the Army to invade a state illegally
without the governor's approval is O.K., and is better than actually getting a governor who is willing to call greyhound buses to transport natural disaster
victims to medical help and living stations they had prepared ahead of time.
- You believe that you can blame the President for the failure of a
state government's to do what it's supposed to do.
- You believe that the only reason that socialism fails whenever it's
been tried is because people like you haven't been in charge.
- You believe conservatives that tell the truth belong in jail, but a
Democrat that's liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
- You believe that any Conservative that is even accused of a crime is guilty, but any
Democrat that is convicted and thrown in jail was unjustly convicted
- You believe that a conservative that is accused of a crime is
guilty, but a liberal that's convicted and sentenced is innocent.
- You believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites,
and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, but manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.
- You believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese
government is somehow in the best interests of the United States.
- You believe that emotions, not facts, should affect objective decisions, regardless of
who gets hurt.
- You believe that it is normal to get all choked up at the end of
- You believe that Tony (Frank Sinatra) in the movie A Hole in the
Head is victimized.
- You believe that this list is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
You Might Be a Democrat If